Bernie’s a bumbling hit man married to a buxom beauty. When he arrives at a resort in beautiful Miami Beach, he is incensed to find his wife in bed with a local lifeguard. It’s not long before hilarious adventures ensue when the world’s worst assassin wreaks all kinds of havoc in an attempt to protect his honor. The topless beach resort will never be the same as Bernie seeks redemption among the cabana boys and the bikini clad residents at one of the Sunshine State’s tropical hot spots.
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Author Archives: rarefilm
Seven Days… Seven Nights / Moderato cantabile (1960) Peter Brook, Jeanne Moreau, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Pascale de Boysson, Drama
In this drama, an industrialist’s wife finds herself bored by her opulent existence. One day, while she waits for her son to finish his music lesson, she hears a woman scream at a nearby bistro. She then sees a man being hauled away from a woman’s body. Her curiosity piqued, she becomes a regular at the cafe. There she meets one of her husband’s workers. Over drinks, they talk about the murder. As they converse, the worker realizes that the woman herself wants to die, and he abandons her.
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The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976) Nicolas Roeg, David Bowie, Rip Torn, Candy Clark, Sci-fi, Drama
The Man Who Fell to Earth is a daring exploration of science fiction as an art form. The story of an alien on an elaborate rescue mission provides the launching pad for Nicolas Roeg’s visual tour de force, a formally adventurous examination of alienation in contemporary life. Rock legend David Bowie, in his acting debut, completely embodies the title role, while Candy Clark, Buck Henry, and Rip Torn turn in pitch-perfect supporting performances. The film’s hallucinatory vision was obscured in the American theatrical release, which deleted nearly twenty minutes of crucial scenes and details.
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Zamani barayé masti asbha / A Time for Drunken Horses (2000) Bahman Ghobadi, Ayoub Ahmadi, Rojin Younessi, Amaneh Ekhtiar-dini, Drama, War
An Iranian Kurdish family is trying to survive after the death of its parents. Ayoub, the eldest boy in the family, becomes the head of the household and must do whatever work available to survive. Madi, Ayoub’s handicapped brother, is in need of a medical operation. Ayoub goes to great lengths to collect money for the operation by smuggling truck tires with a group of Kurdish villagers near the Iran-Iraq border…
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Sexy Wives Sinsations (2013) Jim Wynorski, Cindy Lucas, Melessia Hayden, Kylee Nash, Comedy, Thriller, Erotic
The stimulated staff of a sex clinic uses erotic role-playing to revive failing marriages in this arousing adult drama.
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The Comancheros (1961) Michael Curtiz, John Wayne, Stuart Whitman, Ina Balin, Action, Western, Adventure, Romance
Texas Ranger Jake Cutter arrests gambler Paul Regret, but soon finds himself teamed with his prisoner in an undercover effort to defeat a band of renegade arms merchants and thieves known as Comancheros.
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Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) Tommy Lee Wallace, Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O’Herlihy, Horror, Sci-Fi
An apparent murder-suicide in a hospital emergency room leads to an investigation by the on-call doctor, which reveals a plot by an insane toymaker to kill as many people as possible during Halloween through an ancient Celtic ritual involving a stolen boulder from Stonehenge and Halloween masks.
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Ultraviolet (2006) Kurt Wimmer, Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund, Action, Sci-fi
Set in the late 21st century, a subculture of humans have emerged who have been modified genetically by a vampire-like disease, giving them enhanced speed, incredible stamina and acute intelligence, and as they are set apart from “normal” and “healthy” humans, the world is pushed to the brink of worldwide civil war aimed at the destruction of the “diseased” population. In the middle of this crossed-fire is – an infected beautiful woman – Ultraviolet, who finds herself protecting a nine-year-old boy who has been marked for death by the human government as he is believed to be a threat to humans.
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Banana Spirit / Jing ling bian (1992) Kin Lo, Collin Chou, Josephine Foo, Ching-Ying Lam, Comedy, Fantasy
Francis Ng stars as Chic, who helps his friend Che (Ngai Sing), a Taoist ghostbuster, with various assignments. They both owe gambling debts to the nasty mobster Rabid Hsiung (Tommy Wong), so they’re in desperate need of money, leading them to take on a request from the elderly Taoist master Tang (Richard Ng) to help him capture the Banana Spirit. On a late-night search, the trio is frightened by a demon as well as awakening the Banana Spirit, Muyung Yu-Yu, who takes the earthly form of a beautiful model and seduces Chic. Chic and the ghost become lovers, and she saves his life when he is shot at by mobsters as well as helping him win a great deal of money at one of Rabid Hsiung’s casinos. Hsiung figures out that Yu-Yu has special powers, which he attempts to use for his own benefit, but Chic kills him before he can realize his plans. Unfortunately, Hsiung rises from the grave as a clownish evil spirit looking for revenge, and Yu-Yu’s allotted time on Earth is quickly running out. Lam Ching-ying and Yip Wing-cho co-star in the lively romp.
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All About Anna (2005) Jessica Nilsson, Gry Bay, Adrian Bouchet, Eileen Daly, Comedy, Drama, Romance, Erotic
Anna is a modern, independent single girl, focused on her job and wary of getting caught in romantic relationships. Her life is all about fun. Strangers without strings. No commitment, no casualties. She has just found a new apartment, and is tempted to let her latest boyfriend, Frank, move in with her. Instead, she finds a tenant: The flamboyant, fun-loving Camilla, who shares Anna’s views on love and commitment. But then an old boyfriend happens to knock on her door: Johan, the very man who five years previously broke Anna’s heart. Anna is tempted. It’s not good. More than ever, she needs to get back on the merry-go-round and move on. Fortunately, she receives an offer to design costumes for a theatre in Paris. As far away from romantic temptation as possible — right?
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