A bizarre don’t-even-try-to-make-sense-of-it bombardment of sexual imagery that plays like stream of consciousness from a degenerate: threesomes, foursomes, lesbians, bondage, hair-whipping (!) and, believe it or not, even kung-fu. Avant-garde masterpiece or pure gutter trash? Perhaps both.
Penelope (2006) Mark Palansky, Christina Ricci, James McAvoy, Reese Witherspoon, Comedy, Fantasy, Romance
In this modern-day romantic tale, Penelope is about a young girl’s inspiring journey, a mysterious family secret, and the power of love. With all odds against her, in order for Penelope to break the family curse, she must find true love with “one of her own kind” and realize the most important life lesson, “I like myself the way I am.” Penelope Wilhern, born to wealthy socialites, is afflicted by the Wilhern spell that can only be broken when she finds love. Hidden away in her family’s estate, the lonely girl meets a string of suitors in her parents’ futile attempt to break the curse. Each eligible bachelor is enamored with Penelope and her sizable dowry; until her curse is revealed. Lemon, a mischievous and eager tabloid reporter, wants a photograph of the mysterious Penelope and hires Max to pose as a prospective suitor to get the shot. The handsome down-on-his luck gambler finds himself falling for Penelope, but, not wanting to disappoint her or to expose his surreptitious ways, he…
Mr. Krueger’s Christmas (1980) Kieth Merrill, James Stewart, Beverly Rowland, Kamee Aliessa, Drama, Family, Fantasy, Short, Music
Azaria Chamberlain was not killed by a dingo but saved and raised by said dingos. She is raised in an incestuous dingo environment and travels back to Sydney transformed as the second coming…a new messiah for a new age.
Francis in the Haunted House (1956) Charles Lamont, Mickey Rooney, Virginia Welles, James Flavin, Comedy, Horror, Fantasy
Though both star Donald O’Connor and director Arthur Lubin had said goodbye to the “Francis the Talking Mule” series, Universal-International wasn’t about to give up on so valuable a property. Thus, Francis in the Haunted House starred Mickey Rooney, with Charles Barton calling the shots. Likewise missing from the earlier series entries was the voice of Francis, Chill Wills; he is replaced by the ubiquitous Paul Frees, who also narrated the film’s promotional trailer. The plot and comic content of Francis in the Haunted House is summed up by the title, as Francis and his new buddy David Prescott (Mickey Rooney) try to corral a gang of art thieves. Along the way, they get mixed up with a phony heiress (Virginia Welles), a series of murders (one of the victims is Richard Deacon!) and, of course, a spooky old house. Most of the “scare” gags in Francis in the Haunted House had been done earlier, and better, by Universal’s own Abbott and Costello.
Charley and the Angel (1973) Vincent McEveety, Fred MacMurray, Cloris Leachman, Harry Morgan, Family, Comedy, Fantasy
Charley is a workaholic family man that finds out from an angel that his “number’s up” and he will be dying soon so he tries to change his ways and be a better husband and father with the time he has left.
Taste The Blood Of Dracula (1970) Peter Sasdy, Christopher Lee, Geoffrey Keen, Gwen Watford, Drama, Fantasy, Horror
Three middle-aged distinguished gentlemen are searching for some excitement in their boring bourgeois lives and get in contact with one of Count Dracula’s servants, Lord Courtley. In a nightly ceremony, they restore the count to life. However, the three men killed Courtley and, in revenge, the count ensures that the gentlemen are killed one by one by their own children.
Hidden Beauties (1999) Dan Golden, Michelle von Flotow, Jon-Damon Charles, Catalina Larranaga, Fantasy, Erotic
Three beautiful young women are tricked and seduced by Lord Isherwood. When their plan for revenge accidentally kills him, the Lord’s Gypsy protector Natasha places a curse on the three, putting them into a hundred-year sleep. 100 years later, the three are awakened when the American descendants of Lord Isherwood come to visit the family estate. The young ladies want nothing more than to get on with their lives and make up for lost time, but Natasha is not yet ready to let them leave.
Orgy of the Dead (1965) Stephen C. Apostolof, Criswell, Fawn Silver, Pat Barrington, Fantasy, Horror, Erotic
John and his girlfriend Shirley go in search of a cemetary in order to inspire John for writing his next horror story. After they crash the car, they wander into the graveyard and encounter the dancing dead, a full moon spectacle overseen by the Ruler of the Dark. Before long the couple is spotted and taken prisoner. Tied to stakes and forced to watch the dancing, they await their fate.
The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) Joel Coen, Ethan Coen, Tim Robbins, Paul Newman, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Comedy, Fantasy
When Waring Hudsucker, head of hugely successful Hudsucker Industries, commits suicide, his board of directors, led by Sidney Mussberger, comes up with a brilliant plan to make a lot of money: appoint a moron to run the company. When the stock falls low enough, Sidney and friends can buy it up for pennies on the dollar, take over the company, and restore its fortunes. They choose idealistic Norville Barnes, who just started in the mail room. Norville is whacky enough to drive any company to ruin, but soon, tough reporter Amy Archer smells a rat and begins an undercover investigation of Hudsucker Industries.